Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Monday, 15 September 2008

Well Diary,

You say there are only a few months until Christmas? Well, I say pish tosh to that. I laid of some of the Elves today, said we could not afford them anyway.

Donna and Blitzen are old now, maybe I will lay them of as well. Rudolph's nose is not so red anymore, since he gave up the drinking. I could wait until Boxing Day, and then lay the Elves of then, I would not need to recruit between now and Christmas, when they always ask for so much more.

I am led to understand that Mr Tumnus is just kicking around these days. Perhaps Gordon Brown will not be so busy at Christmas, not since I got that disc with everyone's address, and credit card details on it anyway. I need to have a Tom Tom for the Sleigh, and maybe some rocket boosters put in as well. The price of Oil is bound to go up soon as well. Perhaps I had better buy some Petrol now, while I can still afford it, just.

I don't really worry about my Carbon Footprint, I just take the one trip a year anyway.