Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 6 September 2008

Hoho, er, I mean, cough cough. Mrs Claus things that I'm sick, but while she's out with Rudolph getting chicken soup, I'm packing for my holiday in Hawaii.

All those little brats will be expecting something in their stockings and sacks come Christmas Day, because I am nice enough to give them something cheap and affordable.

Poor, stupid little sods. they don't really think that I'd spend the whole year getting them sorted, do they? And they don't think that I could get around the world in one night, delivering all of those presents to those little s*** heads, do they? I haven't been out in the sleigh since, well- never.

I don't even exist. In fact, this diary is a figment of the reader's imagination. Good on them. Nice to see that someone besides us hullucinations are losing it completely.