Santa Claus - My Fake Diary
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
While having my early morning poo, i finally came to terms with the gripping reality that its almost that time of year again. My naughty and nice list is almost completed. There arent enough lumps of coal to go round all the 'naughties', so ive decided to cut the size of the lumps in half, and then quater the halves.
Hannah Montana not only left me cookies last year, but a 100 dollar bill and a jug of milk so i'm not going to reduce the size of the coal she's getting this year.
Dairy, i'm also have 'problems' with Mrs Claus. She caught me spying on some teenage girls with the 'naughty & nice spycam' and well lets just say i'm spending this Chrimas Eve lying alone in bed. Maybe i'll go to the 'North Pole Bar' and pick up some HO HO HO!!