Santa Claus - My Fake Diary

Friday, 19 December 2008

Must Quit This Job. Losing the Jolly. Too fat to tie shoes.

This is my last year. I'm leaving a notice in the stockings, along with the aspartame, that I don't exist. How can I word this?

KIDS, I DON'T EXIST

no,

SORRY KIDS, I DON'T EXIST

??

I know,

KIDS, EAT ALL THIS ASPARTAME I STUFFED THIS WITH AS FAST AS YOU CAN

... they won't have to worry about next year!