Santa Claus - My Fake Diary
Wednesday, 31 December 2008
I hate my life. I'm just a big fat guy, who doesn't even have a car and lives with a bunch of elves and reindeers.
Wow, i'm really something. Christmas has come and gone so now all the lovely letters have stopped pouring in. It's all hate mail from now till December of next year. Whoopee. I already got one this morning.
'Dear Stupid Claus,
thanks for giving my kid one of those those see-in-the-dark goggles for Christmas. Now he sneaks into my room at night with them. While my wife and i are trying to...sleep. Now my wife wants a divorce. Thanks alot. I hope the north pole melts to water in 2009 and you and all your disgusting happy creatures die a painfully slow death by water.
Just when i finished reading the letter, a drop of water fell to my head from the ice roof. The sick irony.
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