Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Brilliant lark for Bonfire Night. That puffy git Bear Grylls and his Channel 4 film crew were camping near us and made a Guy Fawkes, then did a 'Penny for the Guy' begging routine to make some beer money.

Anyway, while they're in the pub later, me and my BBC mates sneaked into their camp, nicked the straw stuffing out of the Guy and refilled it with eucalyptus leaves, empty aerosol cans and dried wombat crap.

They all came back later, totally shit-faced and torched their bonfire with the Guy on top, then stood around supping cans of lager and setting off bangers.

Next thing the Guy flares up like a nuke and explodes, covering them in all sorts of cack. One up on the donkey division, lol's.