Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Got a nice dry billet in the Smegmadale Pike police station cells right now, awaiting the film crew to turn up and bail me out.

Load of old bollocks, really.

Ran out of food and had to eat my sleeping bag a couple of days ago.

Last night was so cold in me plastic garbage bag I stuffed it with a few stray cats to keep me warm.

Community patrol kicked me awake in the middle of the night and was arrested on suspicion of moggy molesting.