Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Friday, 4 April 2008

The closer to land we got, the more excited I became and when I put my hands in my pockets, I felt something hard. I pulled out my trusty compass that I found in a Chrismas cracker years ago.

Even though I could see the icy mountain peaks in the distance, The boat steerd off to the Soutwewst and I remonstrated with Captain Maxwell.

"Look Maxwell, we're not going North!

"So?" he said in a so-so sort of way.

"I told you I gotta go to Plyouth first to see Hilda and load up with coal. Patience me boy! This evening I'll take you to see the hoe."

I could take no more and as soon as we docked, I jumped ship and ran to the nearest bus stop. The #20, a big red doubble decker pulled up. It was driven by Stan Butler.

"Didn't you used to be on telly?" I asked.

"Yea Mate, but I've been working here ever since "...