Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 22 March 2008

And then I woke up,

Screaming like a lost child, separated from its mother in the Basingstoke branch of British Home Stores(check the metaphor, similie, and aliteration, Mr Douglas, my English Teacher).

Adrian Chiles was grinning like a cheshire cat, the one sat next to him, or was it Christine Bleakley, on the One Show sofa.

'We've been through some scrapes, haven't we, me old mate?'

said the big AC.

I punched him squarely in the jaw, and made a run for it..................................