Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 14 May 2009

Dear diary,

Guess WHO had lunch with Michelle yesterday?

Not one that's for sure! She blew one off again to visit some bald-headed freaky kid in a cancer hospital!
What must one do to get her to take notice of one?

So upset, feel like crying.

Meanwhile Willie confessed that him and Kate have already fornicated! If Kate is not a virgin then she cannot marry Willie! Does she not know that?

One is speaking to royal advisors about scandal tomorrow. One has already started looking through Lonely Hearts ads in newspaper to find Willie more suitable partner.

Saw a lovely girl who says she likes poetry, candelit dinners and S&M. One is assuming S&M means stars & moons. An astrologer! One may contact lovely lass today and try schedule lunch at palace.

QEII