Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Dear Diary,

One is SOOO pissed off! One has thought of divorcing that TWAT before, but never as much as this moment!
Prince Philip was caught trying to smuggle ecstacy tablets into a nightclub on Friday night! One CANNOT believe it!

The Prince even had the nerve to wear my second best crown into the club - and replaced the white sapphires with ecstacy pills so he wouldn't get caught!

Next thing you know one is woken up at 4.30am with sirens and lights flashing and a gun pointed in one's face!

Yes, the pigs conducted a raid on one's house!

Nearly had a heart attack when one saw all that powder and pills being hauled out from Phil's underwear drawer.

Have not told ANYONE that the ketamine was mine. Phil can take the blame for that, the big twat.

Too mad to continue writing, but back later with further update.

QEII

ps. Bet Charles is foaming at the mouth thinking he's going to get one's crown after this little incident! One thinks NOT!