Paul McCartney - My Fake Diary

Monday, 29 July 2013

"I'm dying to have some fish. But being that I've told everyone in the world that I'm an ardent vegetarian, that's not an option. Going on TV and saying that fish have wonderful personalities and should be treated with the utmost respect kind of keeps me out of Red Lobster. I can't be a phony, no. I hear Hooters has a great grouper sandwich. I hear Denny's has good tilapia on their senior menu, and with my AARP card, I can even claim a 20 percent discount between 4 and 10 (not that I need it, being one of the richest musicians who ever sang, but I'm really Irish, so it's my birthright). I wonder if I can wear a fake mustache, a hat, and a ski mask, then go down to that Vietnamese market on the corner and buy some smelts or sushi. Who'd know? But I might get shot if they think I'm there to rob the place."