Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 18 October 2008

10AM Found a love note outside the cave this morning. What next? "You are like a virgin goat's hair floating across the desert as she blooms beneath the gentle rain that falls so seldom here." Boy-O-Boy. It's dedicated to "My Dearest Bearded One". I bet it's that new one who wiggles when he shoots.

1PM Another Love Note. "Whatever happens to us in the future,we still have the 'now'." And get this one: "My heart pines away for your mostly gray, lice-infected beard." I shall use both of these as toilet paper.

4PM Third one today. "I shall signal my manhood by the number of shots fired into the air after evening prayers." I might be better off if one of the bullets land upon my turbaned head.

NINE shots fired!