Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 1 February 2009

They Tell Me It's February, 2009. To me, it looks like 2003, when I came here.

Dear Diary,

Now the United States is blaming me for their current financial crisis. Always, I'm the whipping boy.

It's things like this that show you who your real friends are.

"It's the "Crisis of the century!" stated Bush in January. Then he said, "So Osama, what are you going to do about it?"

He always calls him, Balack Osama! Wonder what he calls me? Probably something ugly in Texas..."Honery Cowhoot", maybe?

I think I'll use that strategy also. I will tell the legless sheik, "We are living in cold caves and eating mostly roasted rat and lizards. What are you going to do about it?"

(Be right back)

He replied that since he has no legs, he is going to sit on his ass and eat his roasted lizard and rat with glee."

Well really, how can you get angry with someone two and a half feet tall?

I just wish he'd shut up with that "The plane! The plane, Boss!"

I know a plane when I see it. Hide you idiot.

Probably his last words will be, "The Bomb! The...BOOM!!!"


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