Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Friday, 23 January 2009

Dear Diary,

I see that, just as he promised, Barack Obama's first priorty is closing down Gitmo. Yesterday he said, "Within a year, Gitmo will be closed." First thing. hee hee "Within a year!" hee hee!

Where's he going to put them? They tried a regular prison and they maimed a guard.

Just in case, I'm going to send a new video telling him not to send them here! We are only mad people here, not psychos.

If it were me, I'd send them across the Atlantic in a leaky boat to Somalia, in case the thing didn't completely sink. Let the pirates deal with them.

Then when they get their virgins, they'll probably kill and barbecue them.

And to think, I'm still #1.

Compared to those guys, Hannibal the Cannibal is a pussycat.

Think I'll pull Obama's chain by wearing a Hawaiian grass skirt on my first video to him.

Hope that was the last WWII Japanese we found in the cave yesterday. He must be 90. I guess the rats and lizards won't run out after all.


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