Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Friday, 16 January 2009

Dear Diary,

I guess it had to happen sooner or later.

I went to cave #2 after dark to rid myself of some unwanted rat and I thought I had accomplished just that before leaving.

However, after I started back, I found the dearly departed rat poop in the back of my robe. I had forgotten I had had to put on a second robe during the present cold spell.

I finally decided to just strip and set the whole thing on fire and check my cedar chest for a clean robe.

Bush is not so dumb. He leaves me out here while he's headed for a new home in Dallas.

My whole tasting system is shot. I actually now love hot lizard tails. I'd take them over hot wings anytime. I think I even prefer them to barbecued goat.

If I wasn't warped, as the western world proclaimed, when I got here, I am now.

I hear another fight starting out there close to the campfire inside cave #4. Bet they're playing "Musical Rocks" again. Mohammed hates to lose. He will sit in another man's lap and let go a killer rat fart if he cannot find an empty rock. They always give in because he sometimes strains too hard with the predictable outcome. He is on guard tonight so the others play.

The Current Supreme Leader of the infamous World of shit,


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