Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Dear Diary,

What a day. Richard Simmons has been here all day.

He was supposed to be sent to the American troops but somehow he wound up here. I suspect the Americans sent him a fake Mapquest.

All day long he's out there trying to get the troops up to exercise as he dodges the rocks.

And that voice! I shall hear it in my sleep for weeks.

Then he personally comes over to see me where I am trying to hide in my cave and asks if I'm afraid of a little exercise.

How about I exercise my trigger finger I tell him, but you cannot get him down.

I asked him if he ever got serious.

He said "Yes, recently I have been trying to make up my mind if I want to have a sex change or not."

"So what's your decision", I asked.

He said he hasn't made up his mind which sex he wants to be.

That was enough. I had him taken to the Americans and I pity the poor things. Not only will they not receive 72 virgins, they get Richard Simmons.

Expect their suicide rate to go up. I lost three today.


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