George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 25 October 2009

What a day I've had.

Laura, mah wife, she ain't talkin' to me. Don't ask me why.

All I said was I was thinking of running for office again.

Liddle Miss Hot Head tore into me and said: "Over my dead grits you will!" Well her grits have been dead for a loooong long time, so I'm not paying that any mind.

Tell whose grits I would like to grind, and that's Michelle Obama's. Hoh Momma! She is one fine purdy lady. Bet she goes like a hot Mustang.

Still I don't envy Obama none. The job nearly sent me mad. Good thing I got out in time otherwise I might have started invading countries like Rudolph Hitler.

Wonder what became of his family? I'll get Special Branch onto it...oh, damn, I can't. I'm not the President no mo'.

It's funny, I keep forgetting. Just after I left, I was in the john having me a little shit-time. I sat there waiting and waiting. It was only after an hour or so that I realised, I gots to wipe my own ass now. Isn't it bizarre the things you miss?

Oh well. Ma and Pa are laying on a liddle ol' barbeque for the neighbors. It's gonna be swell, only 1,500 or so, so it'll be real intimate. I'd better get my stetson on and vamoose.