George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

July 1, 2009

Dear Diary,

W.Here.

Boy does my head hurt today.

I really tied one on last night. Apparently I even tied Laura to the bed and ate six Viagra tablets.

She's a bit hung over too.

Then Cheney came by and started telling Osama Mother-In-Law jokes and I thought my head would split, alongside my sides.

I laughed so hard I threw up on the dog.

Now it's almost evening again and Laura is wiggling her eyebrows at me and twisting her tail every time she walks across the room.

But my head is too big and little Bush is too...well..bushed! Aha ha ha! Oh my head.

I'll never take another drink..well, let's give it three days.

Meanwhile, I guess I better find some more Viagra.

W.