George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Monday, 25 May 2009

Dear Diary,

W.Here.

Just back from a long speaking trip to Tater Stop in West Virgina.

Mighty fine people there. We had supper with the Tater family and we ate taters till they made us stop.

I spoke for five minutes about my 8 years as President and someone raised their hand and asked about the tater crops in Washington DC and if they had better taters back in Ireland when I went there.

Then someone asked about German Sweet Potatoes and if I had had any of those while visiting there.

That's how it went from there on. Gave them a first hand report on the taters of 30 or 40 countries and received 30-40 standing and stomping ovations.

So this speech thing is a piece of ass... I mean, cake.

We been on the road till I'm horny as a hoot owl.

I saw where the Osamas had finally settled on a Portuguese water puppy. I think they got water on the board. I had an Irish Setter one time and we never communicated. How's he going to learn Portuguese which sounds a lot like chimpanzee to me.

Oh well. I'm headed for B-E-D! Gotta get my flight outfit on.

W.