George Osborne - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

I have to go back to the house today to give my mini budget. I don't like having to go to the house and be shouted at by that nasty Mr Balls. Today I have to keep telling people that we are making more cuts but borrowing more. Old people and those scroungers in wheelchairs will have to pay a lot more.

I have to make sure that I don't speak for too long as we have asked the doctors to release Kate from hospital to distract the news from what I have to say. I had hoped that she might miscarry but I don't think she will.

Nick Clegg is unhappy about the whoopsie I did in his potted plant yesterday.