George Osborne - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 9 December 2012

People are saying I shouldn't claim expenses to pay my mortgage on my paddock. But it is an expense so there. I need the paddock to keep my horses in so that nice Mrs Brooks can come around and help me.
I was so upset that I went out and played with my ball in the paddock and that was fun.

I've been told to encourage people to keep the pressure on Starbucks. They are nasty people who give money to think tanks that say Austerity is not good. It is for me and as long as people don't start protesting against Google who give us money and fund our think tanks then that is good. We also have to keep the Mail on side and not make them pay tax. That nice Viscount Rothermere called me to tell me so. I did a bit of a whoosie when the phone went. I'm going to make Vince clean it up with out gloves as punishment for questioning me about the paddock.