David Cameron - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Dear Diary,
After an exhilarating night pumping Sam I felt full of get up and go this morning, so I went....into the lounge and phoned Danny Alexander and Francis Maude. I told them to each take a 'tough pill' from my cabinet room top, left hand drawer then get tough with the Unions....verbally of course, after all I don't want either of them hospitalised....yet!
Danno was really on form and waved two fingers at them like a big boy threatening to withdraw the non-existent deal we did not offer them way back when. As for Francis, he gave them the old one-two balloting bullshit...you know the one about making strike action harder by way of totally destroying democracy and the right to vote. I was so proud of them both I got another erection, went back to bed and buggered Sam.