Big Bird, beloved star of Sesame Street, countless licensing, films and books, was arrested in Beverly Hills yesterday after being clocked going forty miles over the speed limit, while on a foreign made red skate board. Stopped and apprehended by the...
Lily Pond Lane, The Hamptons, Long Island - (AssoCIAted Mess): Federal Agents are reported to be taking no chances as serial plagiarist, fraudster and trans-atlantic terrorism co-ordinator JK Rowling prepares to descend on the hapless residents of L...
The relationship between Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock (real name: Bob Ritchie) is once again "on." Is it ever! They married in St. Tropez; but that's not the whole story. Pamela has announced that they will be having additional marri...
Santiago, Chile - (Associated Mess): Justice Department investigators involved in the prosecution of General Augusto Pinochet have issued a warrant for the extradition of a psychotic UK female barrister-impersonator after a massive pyramid-selling sc...
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): A new Bush/Blair timetable has been reported as leading to a new ceasefire in the war-torn Middle East as the two leaders agreed yesterday to pack in as much ballistic hardware into the Tel Aviv-bound trans-atlanti...
Gearing up for her starring role in the musical drama, "F for Fat," Natalie Portman has put on an excess of 250 pounds. Up from her normal weight of 69 pounds, Ms. Portman is, admittedly, desperate to catch up with the star status of her fo...
New York City -- The phone lines are buzzing with first reviews of the debut of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Times Square. Most museum visitors have given rave reviews to the new exhibit showing Brad, Angelina, and two-month-ol...
Auburn, AL - Auburn University's Athletics Department announced today a program that has taken their alumni by surprise. Following last year's 4th victory over an injury riddled Crimson Tide, Alabama Fans seemed to be upset when Coach Tuberville hel...
What has technology wrought? For some, a washing machine that 'communicates' with its owners. Sam Solitaire (shown here) is presently using his PC to 'talk' to the equipment in his laundry room. Sam is participating in a trial of...
10 Downing Street, London - (AssoCIAted Mess): A silky-smooth and highly polished Metropolitan Police counter-intelligence operation is in full swing as UK security/intelligence agencies home in on the latest parvenu that Cherry Bush QC has tried to...
It wasn't just Angela Merkle, Chancellor of Germany, who was the recipient of the sneak up, tip toe from behind, shoulder squeeze given by President George Bush; five other members of the G8 Summit were also victims of the same surprise assault.
In a surprising move, the Society of Mind-Altering Drugs Marketing Alliance National (MADMAN) publicly announced their past, present, and future marketing campaigns, which had remained a closely guarded industry secret for decades. The psychiatric dr...
WASHINGTON (Reuters)-Reporter Wayne Madsen, formerly of the US National Security Agency has learned that the vacation in Lebanon for Israeli Defense Forces was determined in June during meetings in Colorado between Benjamin Netanyahu, Natan Sharansky...
Atlanta, GA -- Chris B. Kream (not her legal name), the self-styled ‘Cat Whisperer' called a press conference today to offer apologies to her followers - "upwards of ten now" - and to make amends, she says, for her "bad cat" advice. She intends to of...
Washington, D.C. -- George Bush spoke at a press briefing, Tuesday night, saying "I am the Decider, and I have decided that it is OK for Karl Rove, to continue listening in on the private phone and internet conversations of American citizens...
French soccer player Zinedine Zidane must have been humming "This Could Be the Start of Something Big" when he head-butted Italy's Marco Materazzi during the final of the 2006 FIFA World Cup.
Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Pentagon is urgently reviewing new Mossad-sourced intelligence linking Manhattan socialite and canny business investor Ivana Trump with the razing to the ground of much of Beirut, home of the Hezbollah terror o...
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