Written by Gail Farrelly
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Saturday, 29 July 2006

image for Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Debuts at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum

New York City -- The phone lines are buzzing with first reviews of the debut of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum in Times Square. Most museum visitors have given rave reviews to the new exhibit showing Brad, Angelina, and two-month-old baby Shiloh in an African-themed nursery.

Ten-year-old Gina Grumpy, however, is one reviewer who remained unimpressed after visiting the exhibit with her mom and one-year-old sister Mariah. As soon as she got home, Gina was on the phone with her best friend, Patty Precocious. "Believe me, the exhibit was nothing special," Gina reported. "What's so great about a wax baby plunked in a woven basket?" Patty agreed. "Moses did it first. You know, appearing in a basket. Didn't we learn that in Bible School?"

Gina said it was boring to watch all the people babbling about how beautiful little Shiloh was and remarking that she had 'pouty' lips just like her mom. Even how she was dressed didn't please Gina Grumpy. "Her outfit was only so-so. Just a t-shirt and blue pants. She didn't even have anything fancy on."

That night at dinner Gina and Mariah's mom told their dad about the visit to Madame Tussauds. She explained that the figure of baby Shiloh was actually made, not from wax, but from silicone -- to make it look and feel more real. It was music to Gina's ears. She couldn't wait to get on the phone again with Patty. SILICONE!!!! Gina smiled to herself. Everybody knows about that junky stuff. First thing you know the figure will be bursting and leaking all over everything in sight. "Then let's see how cute everybody thinks sweet little Shiloh is," she said to herself.

Gina was surprised at what happened next at the dinner table. When her dad turned to baby Mariah in her highchair and said, "You had fun today and saw a nice little baby at the museum?" he clearly expected only a nod from his one-year-old daughter. He got more. Mariah not only nodded her head up and down, she screwed up her face as if she had just swallowed sour milk, and said her first words ever: "Fat lips." Gina felt like cheering. Instead she leaned over and gave her sister a big kiss. That was the day she bonded with her baby sister; after all, Gina figured, "This is a kid with taste."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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