Written by Gail Farrelly
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Monday, 31 July 2006

image for Wedding Planners Rejoice As Pamela Anderson Boosts Their Industry

The relationship between Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock (real name: Bob Ritchie) is once again "on." Is it ever! They married in St. Tropez; but that's not the whole story. Pamela has announced that they will be having additional marriage ceremonies at later dates in California, Michigan and Tennessee. Whew! The happy couple is starting a trend, one that leaves wedding planners and anyone else involved in the wedding industry in a state of ecstasy. As one planner put it, "This is better than double your pleasure, double your fun. It's like QUADRUPLING the whole deal."

Aside from the effect on the wedding industry, there's the effect on individuals. New Yorker Greta Grouchy wasn't sure she wanted to marry her boyfriend, who had proposed marriage on numerous occasions. Greta re-thought her decision, however, when Bob said three little words: "Multiple marriages rock." After Bob explained his idea of having numerous marriage ceremonies all over the globe, Greta decided he WAS the man of her dreams. After all, this way she'd get free trips to Athens, Milan, Paris, Lisbon, and San Francisco -- just to name a few of the planned wedding sites. If the marriage doesn't work out, so be it. At least she'll get to see the world.

For the soon-to-be-wed Marvin Megabucks, multiple ceremonies sounded fine -- as long as he didn't have to attend all of them. He WILL be at the first one in New York City. After that, he's sending the missus and her family on a spare-no-expense trip to the nuptials in other cities. For the four other ceremonies (in Kansas, London, Paris, and Podunk), Marvin will "appear" via videophone for a few minutes to repeat his vows. That's it. Everybody's happy, especially the groom, who can stay home and celebrate one ceremony after another with his buddies at the local tavern.

The concept of additional wedding ceremonies is just what the doctor ordered for The Wedding Alliance, a trade group of wedding peddlers who "sell" flowers, clothing, limousine services, wedding reception venues, and anything else they can convince prospective brides and grooms that they cannot live without. In public, Phyllis Phony, Executive Director of the trade group has stated, "Pamela's example and regard for matrimony is awesome, inspiring and beautiful." In private, she has confided to friends, "Forget focus groups and consultants to pump up the wedding business. All we needed all along was a Baywatch babe with a wacko idea."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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