UN Joins EU in Condemning US for 'Bad Bin' Recycling Practices Over Bin Laden Waste Disposal!

Funny story written by Morse

Friday, 6 May 2011

image for UN Joins EU in Condemning US for 'Bad Bin' Recycling Practices Over Bin Laden Waste Disposal!
All Gore Presents Evidence Resulting from "Bad Bin" Disposal!

The furor over the demise of terrorist Osama Bin Laden will not abate, now involving theories of suicide, death due to his lack of treatment for kidney stones by the NHS, terrible intestinal pain from Trichinosis, or his self immolation while simultaneously trying to barbecue a US flag the British Poppy, and chicken wings on his outdoor grill .

Now the 'elf 'n safety crowd has joined the fray saying the US didn't follow proper BIN procedures for disposing of what they call "International Household Waste."

"We have procedures you know, " said Lord Percy Flatulence, speaking from his office in Brussels in the midst of a Cinco del Mayo celebration, " there are certain days and certain coloured Bins to be observed when putting your trash out. Simply dumping crap in the Ocean, even if it is the Arabian Sea is not an option! They MUST be fined!"

"There's a reason we have promulgated these rules and regulations....can't have anarchy when it comes to trash collection...one can't just pop in an out as one wishes for a party, even if it is an international celebration, and not dispose of your trash properly!"

The flap over improper 'BINNING' is now led by The Guardian in Britain, with Pundits now claiming Bin Laden should have been captured alive and subject to Health and Safety laws governing the European Union.

Said Sean Guervara,the Guardian's International Celebrity Editor, known as 'Che' to his pool reporters, "we don't really like this kind of thing you know.' Binny' could have been brought here, put up in a council house, given a living stipend, and been debriefed by Julian Assange for some more earth shattering inside intel that surely would have led to the fall of governments around the globe! Our subscriptions would have soared!"

Brian McAfee, the Guardian Financial Editor agreed. "My God man, an opportunity missed! Just think of the possibilities...he could have been exchanged to Libya for oodles and oodles of oil, with all that money flowing into the UK Labour surely would have been re elected and the good times would be rolling again!"

McAfee may be right. Intel sources tracking internet traffic from Libya are now reporting that through clandestine international intercepts Quaddaffay is said to be tweeting Obama: "Don't BIN me Bro!" an indication he may be willing to negotiate.

Al Gore also jumped into the fray. "That BIN bag was not biodegradable! That type of plastic will be around for millions of years, and being black it's absorbing all kinds of harmful UV rays, and just throws off more heat to an already overheated globe, not to mention it causes cancer in sea slugs and other sea life ....I just wrote a paper onnit for Oslo!"

Reaction from the US has been muted. According to a spokesman from Waste Management, who could not be quoted due to a Super InJunkTion, he said a Seal Team member responsible for taking out the garbage said, "BIN there Done 'em...F****'em if they can't take a joke, Eh? What would they have done, stuffed 'em in a rolling suitcase and waited a fortnight for a proper pickup?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more