Libyan Dictator Muammar Quaddaffy said 'things couldn't get any better' after hearing Silvio Berlusconi was sending some 'crack' Italian troops to join "Petain's Marauders', France's elite front line shock troops, to administer proper protocol in negotiating the Rebels Surrender.
Shortly after two internationally known photo journalists were tragically killed during indiscriminate shelling by Quaddaffy forces, which also took the lives of several civilians including some volunteer medical staff, it was revealed that NATO planes had been grounded due to lack of aviation fuel and the fact they had run out of ammo including missiles and 20mm cannon rounds.
It was also revealed that traffic controllers supplied by the EU in Brussels had fallen asleep in the command tower which precluded the safe take off and landing of any fighter/bomber support to the beleaguered rag tag rebels under 'ealth 'n safety laws mandating mandatory 'nap times' and 'snack breaks.'
Back in the US, President Barry Obama, on a Left Coast swing to raise money for his BILLION dollar re election campaign said while the US would not be supplying lethal weapons to the Rebels, he was sending over $25B in cash as a token of support.
Homeland Security CZAR Janet Napalotano also said she would contribute by sending over several crates of 'bean bag' weapons that would 'humanely' address the UN's complaint that 'people were getting killed in Libya."
Those weapons, modified to only shoot bean bags to deter criminal activity along the Arizona border, recently came into disrepute after a Border Agent armed with the politically correct weapon was gunned down by AK-47 armed Mexican Drug Cartel members.
Quaddaffy's Entertainment Minister said to celebrate the occasion of "Impending Victory Against the Infidels' the President would be reprising "The Mother of All Entertainment Events' saying Nelly Furtado, Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Usher, and 50 Cent would all be appearing under a tent together to perform live to mark the event.
Also on tap, but not confirmed, is the rumour that Gordon Ramsay will be catering the event with such delights as poached frogs legs with garlic/lemon butter, Escargot in pastry with white wine and shallots, Fettuccine alfredo, and scungilli delicately sautéed in olive oil
on a bed of Penne Pasta, parsley and red peppers.
The Minister of Trade said if the current price of crude at $108 a barrel jumps to $112 there is a good chance they can talk Gordon into providing Tiramisu for dessert.
Quaddaffy's Secretary of Defense says they will be signing the surrender agreement of the Rebels in the front seat of a bombed out crew cab Toyota, "the irony of which I'm sure the French and Italians will appreciate,' he said with a straight face.