Libyan Fighting Intensifies: This Time Between French & English Troops Over Oil Rights!

Funny story written by Morse

Tuesday, 19 April 2011


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Libyan Fiasco Now Pumping More Blood than Oil!

The bizarre skirmish in Libya took a turn for the worse today and fighting broke out between English and French Troops after Khaddaffy said he'd cut a special deal over oil rights to which ever Country backed him in his fight to retain power.

Twenty British Officers from 2 Para, with their boots on the ground , attempted to rally rag tag rebels to their side with the presentation of Pork Pie hats with the St. George Cross on the Crown (to avoid friendly strikes from NATO fighters) and a pledge to promote Talapia fish farming , free fish and chip franchises and 100 tickets to the upcoming Royal Wedding.

French Foreign Legion troops were busy wooing their native forces with bad wine, promises of their own Victory snail garden, and jobs in the soon to be opened Michelin rubber plantation, and a free Citroen 2CV.

Pressure continued to mount with the diplomatic mission spearheaded by Trade Minister without Portfolio Prince Andrew who arrived 'breathless' at Khaddaffy's headquarters with a year's supply of the latest Pork Pie hats from M&S, as well as some only slightly used drapes from Buckingham Palace which Andrew said would look "simply divine on him when he appears on the telly to announce BP would now be the sole exporter of Libyan Oil."

Nicholas Sarkozy dispatched his lovely wife, Carol Bruni, in the hopes she could charm the brutal dictator with an offer of a summer vacation in Nice, a chance to have a late dinner with Bridget Bardot, some nude figure studies of herself during her modeling days, and a few CD's from her brief music career.

Unfortunately, both 'trade missions' met in the courtyard of Khaddaffy's bunker, and what started as a protocol row soon turned into a firefight, with both sides taking cover behind burned out Toyota pickup trucks.

As afternoon turned to dusk in what was described as a 'Mexican Standoff', both sides hunkered down for what might prove to be a long night.

Back in Washington,DC, President Barry Obama said he had just been informed of the situation and was 'studying the implications."

Odds in Vegas as of Press Time was that Obama would break yet another promise and order Pants Suited Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to put her 'arse and her combat boots' on the ground to resolve the situation.

Exxon Mobile & Chevron are anxiously awaiting word on the negotiations, while insiders say a mole from Brazil representing Petrobras now has the inside track after tunneling into Quaddaffly's bunker with a supply of fresh coffee, a box of Cuban cigars and the deed to a time share unit in Rio.

VP Joe Biden was napping, and unavailable to comment at press time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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