Vatican officials declared ungrateful bastards by Italy's parliament

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Friday, 21 January 2011


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image for Vatican officials declared ungrateful bastards by Italy's parliament
Italian babies not deemed viable by some in the Catholic Church.

Top Vatican officials are condemning Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi because of allegations that Berlusconi had sex with human females, even though Berlusconi has been the Vatican's strongest supporter and has never condemned the Catholic Church for all the homosexuality it has committed on young Italian males who lost their manhood and their dignity before the eyes of the entire world and the non caring Italian public.

Logistic experts in Italy are thanking God that Berlusconi only had sex with females and not with Italian boys like Catholic priest do on a regular basis.

If Jesus Christ would have been real, he would have told Pope Benito before Benito would have made his accusations against Berlusconi, "He who is without sin toss the first stone." After remembering all the times he masturbated at the Vatican, Benito would have dropped his stone on the ground and walked away without being too quick to condemn.

"The Catholic Church is watching these Italian matters with attention and, in particular, worry, because Italians are engaging in sex which could accidentally produce living babies which would grow up to compete for resources with German babies living in Germany and who are from a more superior breeding stock than Italian babies." Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, the Vatican's secretary of state and ranking church official after Pope Benedict XVI, told reporters on Thursday.

"The Church pushes and invites everyone, above all those who hold public responsibility in any administrative, political and judicial area, to be committed to a more robust unscientific morality, a sense of unscientific justice and lawfulness," Bertone said to an unsuspecting Italian public.

Pope Benito added to the hostile atmosphere by saying to a group of Rome's police chief and police officers that public officials must "rediscover their spiritual and moral roots by not having babies through human sex and to take the example of Catholic priest and nuns."

Berlusconi, for years the most powerful figure in Italian politics and society, has a reputation for trying to help improve Italy's economy and helping it's poor.

The Catholic Church has yet to criticize any American politicians for having sex because it receives over 2 billion dollars in tax free revenue from the United States.

Some Italian politicians say they plan on embarking on a plan to change the constitution by banning all religious practice in Italy to prevent Muslims, Hindus, Buddhist and different African religions from infiltrating Italian society and creating their own religious empire like the Catholic Church has done. "It is better that Italy become an atheist country then to let the country fall into the hands of religious radicals," said one politician.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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