Panic: Bin Laden Threatens Terror Attack On France

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

image for Panic: Bin Laden Threatens Terror Attack On France
Bin Laden: The pixie of terror strikes again.

Osama Bin Laden, bearded baddie and all round bad egg, has sensationally threatened France with terror attacks.

The hairy pixie was upset at the French nations decision to ban veils, something which has become somewhat of a fashion statement for Muslim women.

The terror lord sent a video message to Al-Jazeera television, saying that the move to ban the veils was akin to 'killing' Muslim women, so therefore he and his stooges think its more than fair to actually kill men, women and children.

He didn't reveal exactly how he intended to wreak his revenge, but you can bet it will involve rucksacks and loud explosions.

The tape, the first to be seen in quite a while from the cave dwelling Hobbit, was broadcast late last night to mixed reviews.

Bobby Goldstein of New York Film Review stated "the lighting was all wrong, and whoever did the make-up, darling, well, they were just having a bad day! There was no real emotion from the lead, and the set designer had put an AK-47 in the shot, I mean, really? That is so clich├ęd!"

Bin Laden has been out of the limelight for some time now, due to preparing for his upcoming stint on Strictly Come Hiding, a new game show in which twelve celebrities disappear into various terrains and hide for eight months, whilst being hunted by various elite armed forces from around the globe.

Bin Laden was firm favourite to win, however critics fear this latest public feud with France could unsettle the angry gnome into making a rookie mistake.

"If his minds not on the task at hand," said hiding expert Grizzly Battenburg, "then he could leave a simple trail, next thing you know the S.A.S have picked him up. You can't honestly expect to coordinate a mass attack on a leading nation like France whilst maintaining your lead in a televised game show. He's an idiot if he tries."

French PM Nicolas Sarkozy was quoted, in response to news of the threat, as saying in his usual modest and diplomatic way "ahh, whatever, let ze bearded chipmunk try somesing! I don' care, fur we are Freynch!"

We will keep you updated as and when someone makes a move.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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