Yue Ying, known as the Mother Theresa of China, was arrested today. Ms Ying is known for her work among the poor in Beijing. According to those acquainted with her, Ms. Ying works tirelessly to feed and clothe the poor, and is one of the most compassionate people in China.
Explaining the arrest of Ms Ying, the foreign minister said, "In China, we have no poor people. Therefore, it is absurd for anyone to claim to be helping them. Ms Ying is being charged with falsely assisting the poor, which will result in at least 10 years in prison. She is bringing negative publicity to the People's Republic of China, and that will not be permitted."
When asked about her legendary compassion, the minister had this to say, "Compassion is not necessary in our society, because no one needs it. Anyone pretending to have compassion is an enemy of the People, and will be treated as such."
One journalist indicated that he had seen two beggars on the street today, and two different ones yesterday. Therefore, he concluded, there must be at least four poor people in China.
"In China," the foreign minister explained, "two plus two does not equal four. The government decides the laws of mathematics, taking into account the best interests of the people. Anyone claiming that two plus two equals four will be immediately arrested and charged with crimes against the People. Anyone claiming to see any beggars in China must be lying and is also an enemy of the people."
The journalist was promptly arrested and taken away.