Somali Pirates Capture, Release Chinese Cargo Ship

Written by Charpa93

Monday, 20 September 2010

image for Somali Pirates Capture, Release Chinese Cargo Ship

DUBAI, UAE - A Chinese cargo ship was captured by Somali pirates last week off the coast of Somalia; however, unlike the German cargo ship seized days earlier and rescued by United States Marine forces, the Chinese cargo ship was released by the Somali pirates almost immediately upon boarding without force.

Law keeping forces in the area boarded the pirate ship to find out exactly why the Chinese ship was allowed to proceed without capture while other cargo ships in the area continued to be plagued by pirates.

The captain of the Somali ship stated "We noticed that the Chinese ship had many, many containers on board and we asked the Chinese captain where the ship was bound. He replied it was bound for America. Assuming there must be valuable treasures aboard, we immediately boarded the ship and demanded the Chinese crew members open the containers."

The captain shook his head slowly, "Never assume," he said. "Upon opening the containers we realized we had made a terrible mistake. Everything in those containers was made with plastic and cheap metal. The paint smell was so horrendous, we had to close the containers as fast as we could and get back off that ship. The entire crew is still suffering from headaches that do not seem to go away. In fact, this is the first week in the history of pirating that we've had to let ships pass without boarding them as half the crew is weak, and we can't risk being overtaken again by the Marines in this condition."

"Never again," said the Captain. "If it's a Chinese cargo ship and it's bound for America, I say leave it alone. It's literally not worth the headache."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more