After days of extremely tense negotiations, the Vatican City bank has finally been taken over... by Northern Rock.
The British based bank, notorious for going bankrupt in 2008, is back on the market having completed a new deal to take ownership of the bank.
An inside source was quoted as saying the following as we sat down with a cup of coffee.
"We found there was a load of debt in this system. People kept posting messages on the vaults like "God knows your PIN code... so do I," and "This debt remains forever unpaid... just like the Sin of Man".
" A particularly disturbing one was from a priest who was leaving IOUs, as well as several payments to a local orphanage,"
Northern Rock were then asked how they felt about taking over the Vatican City bank.
"It's great. We can get right back on track providing mortgages to a whole new client of people. And best of all, it allows Newcastle United to have a better shirt sponsor!"