Dora The Explorer In DUI Crash; Backpack, Swiper The Fox in Critical Condition.

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 10 July 2010

image for Dora The Explorer In DUI Crash; Backpack, Swiper The Fox in Critical Condition.
Dora's husband, Mario Sanchez-Gomez, is said to be distraught.

Kids Choice Award viewers the world over are devastated to learn that Dora Sanchez-Gomez, the star of Nickelodeon's Dora The Explorer, was arrested for DUI, and is suspected to be the driver in a one vehicle crash that critically injured co-stars Backpack and Swiper the Fox.

Dora was arrested late Friday evening after leaving a party hosted by perennial f-k up Lindsay Lohan at Pure in Las Vegas.

Police say that Dora was driving her 22" rimmed 1998 Toyota Corolla when one of its annoying blue headlights reflected off her triple-chromed bumper, temporarily blinding her.
"Dora skidded and mounted the curb on Las Vegas Boulevard, in front of the MGM Grand Hotel," said police spokesperson Amanda Huginkiss. "She narrowly missed hitting one of the Mexicans that hand out those tranny-hooker trading cards, and the ensuing crash ejected her two passengers.

The critically injured passengers, Mario "Backpack" Sequiera and Swiper the Fox (real name Shulie Hymberger) were flown to OJ Simpson Memorial Hospital.

Backpack Sequeira is listed as critical, with injuries to his shoulder straps and flap clasp. Swiper is also in critical condition, being treated in the hospital unit of Vegas' Clark County Detention Center, after being arrested on two outstanding theft warrants.

Nickelodeon executives were shocked: "We pray for a speedy recovery for Dora, Backpack and Swiper. We hope that the charges against Ms. Sanchez-Gomez are false. But, if they are true, we'll replace her faster than Disney replaced the Yellow Wiggles when he was diagnosed with HIV . . ., er, diagnosed with 'orthostatic intolerance.' "

Dora's family has hired Lindsay Lohan's former get-out-of-jail-free card, Shawn Chapman Holley, to represent her.

Calls to King Bobo and The Grumpy Old Troll for comment were not returned.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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