UK Drink Driving Limit to be lowered

Funny story written by IainB

Friday, 4 December 2009

image for UK Drink Driving Limit to be lowered
Almond biscuits contain more alcohol than whisky

In the run up to the Christmas season, it has been announced that the statutory drink driving limit is to be lowered from two units to one.

One unit is a small glass of wine, half a pint of a normal strength beer or sniffing from a bottle of spirits.

This effectively makes it impossible for drivers to consume any kind of alcohol over the festive period if they have any intention of driving. According to Alan Almond of the AA, many drivers do not realise how difficult this will be.

"We have discovered that there is one unit of alcohol in two chocolate liqueurs," Almond said. "A top of the range mine pie from any of the major supermarkets or department stores contains three quarters of a unit, so two of those and your over. Christmas puddings, trifles, even the humble, and rather out dated, black forest gateaux all contain hidden alcohol with no indication of the number of units on the packaging. We're asking drivers to consume nothing tasty over the festive period, and instead fast."

Whilst this sounds unfestive, it has a serious point. Even some ready made stuffings for turkeys have alcohol in them, and consumption of too much will lead to putting the driver over the limit.

"Even though we are the AA," said Almond, "and are against alcohol in our guise for temperance, we are also for the driver in our other guise as the fourth emergency service. In this situation, the two have converged, and we are asking the government to postpone the new limit until after Christmas. We have also asked that it is not lowered to zero, as I discovered I had two milligrams of alcohol in me from walking past a pub, and I haven't had a drink for twelve years."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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