Tanya "Butch" Goddard looking forward to meeting Lindsay Lohan

Funny story written by IainB

Thursday, 20 May 2010

image for Tanya "Butch" Goddard looking forward to meeting Lindsay Lohan
Lohan - not happy

It is looking increasingly likely that Lindsay Lohan will be going to jail on her return to the States after a trip to the Cannes Film Festival.

Lohan was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol in 2007. She was ordered to community service and a rehabilitation for alcohol programme. Though the community service was served, Lohan never finished the rehabilitation program, with witnesses claiming she was seen drinking during the class. Lohen's mother claim it was only water, and that has to be allowed.

The Hollywood Über-babe was due to appear in court on Friday, however, she claims that her passport has been stolen from her hotel room in Cannes, and she will be unable to get a replacement in time.

"It sounds like a flimsy excuse to me," said Judge Marvin Dread, who would be presiding over her case. Dread is known as a hardass and a hater of celebrity culture. "If she don't appear in my courtroom on Friday at nine AM sharp, I'm going to sentence her to eighteen months at LA Pen."

Tanya "Butch" Goddard is currently serving fifty consecutive life sentences in LA Pen for killing ten police officers during a drugs bust in 2004, and she is eagerly looking forward to Lohan's stay.

"I run the best whorehouse inside the Pen," she said during a visit. "I'm gonna get top dollar for her sweet ass when she comes in here. The guards all like the freebies they get, so she aint got nobody to complain too, and I'll be going first, to break her in, like."

Lohan was unavailable for comment, as she was stood in the queue for a new passport, at the American Embassy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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