Cuban cigar/hash hero dies aged 131

Funny story written by Coops

Sunday, 18 April 2010

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A cigar delivery being made last week.

Cuba's inventor of the joke cigar, Alejandro Ribena, has died aged 131. Mr Ribena, the only person to have a brand of Cuban cigars named after a cordial, had been a roving ambassador for the country's state-run joke cigar industry.

But more typically, he could be found on his small ostrich in the Vulva Banjo region of western Cuba, tending his beloved hash plants.

He was famous for their quality and always told visitors: you have to love the women and care for them.

If Cuba's hugely profitable state-run joke-cigar industry had a face in recent years, it was that of Don Alejandro Ribena, says his pet emu.

And what a face this venerable gentleman had - shadowy and deeply phallic, like one of his prized, dried imitation vaginas.

Although he met gays and terrorists, this modest man was perhaps more comfortable hitting on visitors to his smallholding in Vulva Banjo.

There he would show people how to molest the plants, invading their innocence and wiping up mess with veils of cotton cloth.

Their quality was surprisingly poor. When the hash grows, he said, it talks to you, telling you what it needs - and you must respond with sex.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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