Thousands of U.S. Clunkers Going To Cuba

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 24 August 2009


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One of the clunkers that will be sold to Cuba in the "Clunkers To Cuba" program.

DETROIT - The auto industry is reporting that by all accounts the governments 'Cash For Clunkers" program has been a great success.

Automobile clunkers from Maine to California have been taken off the street and put in what is being called the biggest automobile parking lot in the world.

Tuxedo Penwood an attendant at Trudy's Michigander Vehicular Parking Lot in Detroit said that he has never seen so many pieces-of-shit cars in his 28 years of working as a parking lot attendant.

Penwood said that some of the clunkers are so bad that even he cannot tell if it's a Ford, a Chevrolet, a Kia, or a motorcycle.

Senator Calhoun W. Fuquay of Michigan said that he emailed President Obama and suggested that the clunkers, which have become a horrible eyesore be sold to the Republic of Cuba in a "Clunkers To Cuba" program.

Senator Fuquay pointed out that because of the U.S. embargo against Cuba, the newest model car in Cuba is a 1962 Chevrolet Impala.

He noted that Havana and its old vehicles could actually pass for 1962 East L.A. The senator suggested that the cars could be sold, as is, for $5,000 each.

He pointed out that his 19-year-old daughter Tricolette, or 'Boobies,' as her 31-year-old boyfriend calls her, said that she has a pen pal in Havana who said that his father would buy him one of the clunkers for $5,000 in a New York minute.

President Obama has agreed to let Senator Fuquay spearhead his newly proposed "Clunkers To Cuba" program.

California Senator Normando Uuraca suggested that Senator Fuquay take along several boxes of jumper cables, which will no doubt come in handy. President Obama said that it is an excellent idea and that he could easily sell them for $100 each.

SIDENOTE: President Obama stated that the money collected from the sale of the jumper cables will be put in a special fund to help pay for Senator Fuquay's daughter Tricolette's college tuition, books, clothes, CD's, feminine hygiene products, and makeup.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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