Mark Cuban Says He Wants To Buy Cuba

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 31 August 2009

image for Mark Cuban Says He Wants To Buy Cuba
Ex-President Fidel Castro's Cuban Estate, "La Casa Rum and Coke."

DALLAS - Texas billionaire Mark Cuban told a reporter for The Dallas Daily Detailer that he is seriously considering buying the island of Cuba.

Cuban said that he has been thinking about purchasing Fidel Castro's country for the past two years.

The owner of the NBA Dallas Mavericks said that he forsees in the not-to-distant future the United States lifting the economic sanctions against Cuba that have been in place since the 1960s.

He stated that the newest automobile in Cuba is a 1962 Chevy Impala. Cuban realizes that the people in Cuba will go crazy whenever brand new cars are made available to them.

The Mavericks owner being a very intelligent individual who has tremendous business sense knows that the first auto dealership that sets up in Cuba is going to make an absolute killing in auto sales.

And he says that he wants to be the one that owns that dealership which will be a virtual gold mine. Cuban has already investigated the situation and he knows that he can easily sell 2010 model cars that will sell for $20,000 in the U.S. for $40,000 in Cuba.

Cuban expressed that he would even like to buy an American major league baseball team and move it to Havana. He says that the Cubans love baseball more than they love Cuban cigars and Cuban rum.

When asked which team he would like to buy and move to Havana he replied that he was leaning towards the Pittsburgh Pirates. He said that The Havana Pirates has a nice ring to it.

Cuban smiled he took a sip from his Redneck Prairie Fire and said that he may also look into the possibility of buying the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

The filthy rich Mr. Cuban pointed out that The Havana Buccaneers also has a pretty good ring to it as well.

Cuban said that President Obama invited him to a private Texas-style barbecue dinner at the White House last week. He said that the president was all dressed up in a cowboy outfit, complete with ten-gallon hat, boots with real sharp spurs, chaps, a Roy Rogers designer western shirt, and a standard lasso.

Mark said he could not help but laugh as the president walked around telling everyone he was the Chicago Kid and he was one bad hombre.

The president went around strumming a flat-top guitar while singing

Yippe-ki-yay, that be what I say,
I's just an old cowhand from the Rio Grande

Cuban said that he was a little pitchy at first, but after about three Bud Lights, he relaxed a little and started singing right on key.

Michelle, the "First Mama" even put on a pair of Daisy Duke short shorts and accompanied her 'man' on the harmonica.

Cuban said that he felt like he was watching an episode of the old Roy Rogers and Dale Evans TV show but with Roy and Dale with real good-lookin' suntans.

He remarked that the "First Kiddoes" Sasha and Malia were both dressed like Old West can-can saloon dancers. Bo the "First Pooch" was dressed as Rin Tin Tin.

Vice-President Joe Biden was dressed as a bountyhunter and his wife Jill was dressed as a 'soiled dove,' (saloon strumpet).

Mark Cuban, who was dressed as Annie Oakley, managed to corner the president and he told him that he was planning on buying the island of Cuba. The president remarked, "No shit?" and Cuban assured him that he was serious.

Cuban asked the president if he would lift the economic embargo on Cuba if he bought it.

The president smiled and showing about ten of his teeth he assured him that it was fundamentally a very 'doable' thing.

Mr. Cuban asked him where he should send the check.

"1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in care of Brobama."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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