Cuba liberalises hairdressers

Written by Mike Roberts

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

image for Cuba liberalises hairdressers
Fidel is still alive and is 'shocked and deeply saddened' by his brother's actions.

Cubans this morning woke to the news that Raul Castro is going to privatize State owned hairdressers shops throughout the country.

"As part of the liberalization process currently underway in our country, citizens are no longer required to wear government approved 'Fidel' beards. This has led to a massive drop in the requirement to collect the human hair needed to make them and we must face the fact that it is no longer economically viable for the State to continue funding the hairdressing sector." said a government spokesman.

Hairdressing salons will now become private institutions and will pay taxes. "We see this as a perfect way to improve the economic situation in Cuba", said Raul Castro, "People cannot stop their hair growing so we will have a never-ending source of revenue."

In conjunction with the announcement it was also revealed that substantial stocks of Rogain and Propecia will be purchased on the International market to deal with potential revenue loss through male-pattern baldness.

While the 'Fidel' beard may have become an outdated relic, the newly released on the market 'Raul' moustache is becoming increasingly fashionable and is being toted as the 'new way forward'.

"We have no intention of forcing our citizens to buy or wear these moustaches. But citizens will be actively encouraged to support the Cuban economy in these difficult times and to think very carefully about their families and loved ones." said Mr Cubalibre, the head of the State Security Ministry.

The changes to the hairdressing industry are widely thought to be part of an ongoing attempt by Raul Castro to undermine the influence of his older brother and stamp his own personal touch upon his presidency.

Comment has not been forthcoming from Fidel himself but 'insiders' have reported that he is still very much alive, despite many rumours to the contrary, and is 'shocked and deeply saddened' by his brother's actions.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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