Tiger Reportedly Checks into Arizona Sex Addiction Clinic Closely Followed by Lindsay Lohan, Tila Tequila and "some Irish Woman'

Written by Morse

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

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Rehab Exercise at Sex Clinic Where Tiger Is Working On Cutting Down Scale of His Putting!

Reports are surfacing that reclusive Swinger Tiger Woods has actually been sighted in a small Arizona town that houses a little known, but highly used compulsive disorder' clinic for Follywood Elite.

The town, population 6500, can not be named for legal reasons, and any attempt to use Google Earth has been met with a bland screen which morphs into Chinese Ads for Drywall, Children's jewelry, and Pet Food which one internet watchdog group has labeled "poisonous."

Some reporters, arriving early on the scene have confirmed sightings of Follywood Icons Lindsay Lohan, Tila Tequila, and UK Blobette Kerry Katona arriving in a breathless flurry. Also spirited in was an elderly Irish woman said to have political connections, and heard muttering to staff, "Ok, Where's the Beef!"

Amongst alumni of the clinic are Ellie Macpherson, Kate Moss, rocker Ron Wood, Whitney Houston and Michael Douglas.

Warren Beatty has credited the clinic with stopping his compulsive shagging at 13,000 even, although he has hinted at having a few relapses resulting in oral sex, which according to him, 'doesn't really count in the full scheme of things!"

While this reported sighting has been given a 90% rating, it could just be another of the myriad reported sightings of the disgraced golfer since he converted to the Muslim Faith, and blew himself up in a frenzied Jihad of Praising his Peter instead of Worshiping his stunning wife, Norwegian Beauty, Elin.

On the other hand, Ms. Lohan who has admitted in the past to checking into rehab centers just so "I could get a little', could prove to be a stumbling block into Tiger's recovery from excessive shagging.

Clinic Staff, speaking off the record, said all their clients are always protected from themselves, 'In Tiger's case, " one said, " we taken steps to insure that he will not be allowed to tour the grounds in a golf cart without supervision, and clients are only allowed to conduct 'safe sex' while in a doctor's care.

The source vowed to keep interested parties updated as to Tiger's Progress.

More if he gets any!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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