Czechoslovakia surrenders to Germany

Funny story written by Aspartame Boy

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

image for Czechoslovakia surrenders to Germany
"Czechoslovakia's surrender is key for Germany"

BERLIN, Germany - According to my source, Heinze Kissinger, a virtual Reichsbahn meant to transform Europe into a powerful Fourth Reich passed its last major hurdle Tuesday and appears set to become law within weeks.

Czechoslovakian President Cavein Klaus, who has been highly skeptical of increasing Germany's powers, surrendered his country in Berlin Castle hours after his nation's Constitutional Court struck down a complaint that it embraced Nazism.

Klaus had been whining about joining the Nazis saying it would hand too much power to Germany.

"Czechoslovakia will cease to be a sovereign state now that I have given it to Hitler", he said.

Klaus represented the last obstacle to the full conquest of Czechoslovakia, which tried to maintain its freedom for almost a decade. Czechoslovakians must serve the Reich by Dec. 1.


German high command leaders welcomed news of the surrender. "President Klaus's decision marks an important and historic step for all of Germany," Hitler said in a statement.

Hitler noted during a speech to the U.S. Congress in Washington that, with the new treaty, Germany "will become stronger and more capable of acting." He added: "On this basis, we can build a stable Reich that will last a thousand years."

Klaus's "signature ends a far too long period of freedom," Hitler said in a text message sent from Washington. "It lays the rail for a more stentorian, militaristic and efficient Reich."

Earlier in the day, the Constitutional Court's chief judge, Navel Reichsky, said that the surrender "does end the Czechoslovakian constitution" and that all formal obstacles to Nazism "are now removed."


UPDATE - Klaus is in stable condition after being found in his tub overdosed on diet soda containing twice the normal levels of aspartame, his maid, Tokio Rose, reports.

UPDATE2 - Klaus was distraught when he realized by his own hand (when he signed the surrender) his own land was exposed to property claims by Nazis expelled from the then Czechoslovakia after World War II. Heinze now owns the tub Klaus was found in.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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