Malaria cures Swine Flu

Funny story written by Ghatotkacha

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

image for Malaria cures Swine Flu
Bitten by the bug - researcher at the SGIIR

[Times of India/PTI, New Delhi, July 20] It had to happen sooner or later. India has discovered a permanent cure for swine flu - malaria.

"The Plasmodium malaria parasite is humankind's saviour," declared a beaming Prof C H Olera, Director of the reputed Sonia Gandhi Institute of Immunological Research at a hastily-convened press conference in Delhi today. "The SGIIR has been investigating why India has so far had less than 500 H1N1 cases - when the world has reported over 95,000 cases including 700 fatalities. Late last night, my colleagues Dr Anu Phelees and Dr Al Lopathy discovered the reason. Certain segments of the H1N1 genome sequence are extremely prone to attack by the Plasmodium vector. What it means is...the H1N1 'swine flu' viruses are catching malaria and dying like flies! That's why India won't have an epidemic!"

Responding to reporters' questions, Dr Olera explained that malaria offers the best long-term cure for swine flu. "India has over 3 million malaria cases each year. That we can live with...because it assures our safety against H1N1. We will suggest to WHO that a systematic campaign be launched to spread Indian malarial mosquitoes across the world, thereby protecting people against H1N1 and allied virus strains.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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