London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Monday 15 June and it's all over bar the shitting for the world's longest running badass tribute act.
At around 7.50 GMT the mighty gas giant Jupiter stands still in the heavens at 27 degrees Aquarius, sign of the crude pipeline bearer, sending seismic shockwaves through the IRA's house of cards at Buckingham Palace.
Just around the corner in Downing Street the rabid-eyed tenant of the Crown Estate's top tied cottage is being forcibly restrained by a Ministry of Defence posse that's rounding up the Provos' gofers.
And less than a mile down the road in Connaught Square a psychotic Cherry Bush QC is screaming blue murder as the Anti-Terror branch clap on the shackles and toss her in the back of a HMP Belmarsh-bound Black Mariah.
Welcome to Magna Carta Day 2009....