Written by winston_smith

Thursday, 30 October 2008

image for Is it Bin Laden? Coded Message Intercepted in Pakistan
Hello? Hello? Can you here me now?

Fucmebad, Pakistan, U.S. military officials were encouraged today when what sounds to be a coded cell phone message from Osama Bin Laden was intercepted.

This would be the first recognizable proof of Bin Laden's where abouts since 2004 Secret communication receivers, placed in strategic locations throughout this mountainous terrain, apparently picked up cell phone contact between Al Qaeda high command and one operative.

CIA linguistic experts scrutinized the recording for clues as to where Bin Laden may be hiding.

Excerpts of the here to forth secret communication:

    Voice of suspected Bin Laden : "Punjab, you rancid camel fart, I said pepperoni and mushroom!"

    Punjab: "Your most revered one, I told them that at Peshawar Dominoes, they are way lame, friggin' tards, we should of gone to Charsadda Papa's."

    Voice of suspected Bin Laden: "Punjab, you infected anus of a yak, I hate Papa's cheese, it causes my bowels to bind, the house doctor here at the Holiday Inn is a fuckin' infidel, enemas, enemas, enemas. You get back here now and get me a mushroom and pepperoni or I'll stretch your scrotum over a drum and beat it till Allah comes. "

    Punjab: "Yes your most revered sacred, (unintelligible garble) …hole"

    Voice of suspected Bin Laden: "What did you just say you sand gnat vomit gob?"

    Punjab: "We're breaking up…oh royal, most revered, sacred, yadda yadd…"

When asked for comment or added insight, CIA intelligence officer Colonel Kernal refused to speculate on what if anything it means.

"I refuse to comment on what if anything it means, it could be significant break through in a coded communication of Al Qaeda high command, " he said, "or it could be something that is sinister and really sneaky."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Osama Bin Laden




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