Written by Marshabar

Sunday, 14 September 2008

image for Obama: Bottled Up Feelings Can Win the War On Terror!
Could this be the weapon that beats Osama bin Laden?

In a breakthrough moment of clarity Barack Obama has crystalized his plan to defeat Global Terrorism.

In a 9/11 Forum on Fox News Obama revealed some details of his national security program.

While President Bush saw the 9/11 assault on the Twin Towers in New York City as primarily an occasion to go out and shop, Barack Obama has created a completely new and unique national security strategy.

According to Obama the human feelings generated as a result of terrible tragedy are an actual measurable force which can be captured and used to destroy the enemy.

Obama stated that it doesn't even take a horrific attack or natural disaster to create feelings powerful enough to destroy enemies. Barack Obama said that he, himself has demonstrated time and again that he is able to stir great tides of feeling within the people. He points to incidents of leg tingling, dead faints, swoons, and hysterical outbreaks of chanting and rapping to make his case.

Obama said that if he is elected President he will call on his supporters in the entertainment industry to produce hyper-emotional spectacles in all corners of the United States on a regular basis. These spectacles, he said, would involve synchronized marching at night by candle light to the stirring chords of Wagnerian music. Obama promises that either he or his surrogates would attend every rally and deliver stirring messages of hope and change.

The details on Obama's exact methodology for transmuting feelings into force has not been released, but he has hinted that the abandoned Super Collider in Texas may play a roll.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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