Cape Canaveral, Fl. / Plumbing News - Just when everyone thought it couldn't get any worse, news circulated today that the Russian Built toilet on the space station has shit the bed, and cosmonauts are up to their ass in the mess.
Complicating the problem is that on board Russian "Trouble Shooters" are actually two former KGB assassins "put on ice" by Vladimir Putin after they offered 4 free speaking journalists in the Russian capital.
Frantically reading disaster manuals, the cosmonauts tried to shovel the waste out an escape hatch only to find that the emergency shovels, also built in Russia, had defective handles and couldn't lift their weight in "shit".
Reacting to the second toilet malfunction in a year, House Finance Committee Chairman Barney Frank authorized a $19M earmark expenditure for ANOTHER Russian built toilet to be rushed to the space station.
GOP VP Candidate Sarah Palin is causing a "real shit storm" on the campaign trail over this one. Her new prop at the podium is a top of line Kohler Decorator model toilet, "The Eliminator" which comes with vacuum flush, and is guaranteed to work, "even if you're standing on your head taking a shit!" The model retails for $1500 through the government contract office, and $359.95 at Home Depot. The Gov. added that the Frank sponsored toilet did not include shipping, and said it was just another example of Democrats flushing more money down the toilet.
Experts said the toilet problems were related to a "gas separation issue".
The sharp witted Palin reportedly said, "Well boys, when you get one that works, send a few to the House of Representatives. They can use one at the door instead of those dang metal detectors!"
