Virgin Birth Confirmed: DNA Testing

Written by Warren Redlich

Friday, 10 October 2008


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Is this what Sarah Palin nude looks like?

Virgin birth has been confirmed. Scientists in Virginia used DNA testing to establish that a female managed to carry a fetus without any exposure to males.

The pregnant female, known by the code name Tidbit, died under routine circumstances, and an autopsy revealed the blessed fetus. Sadly, the fetus died before it was discovered. Tidbit spent the past 6 years in an environment with no males, indicating that the fetus had to have come about without the influence of a male. DNA testing confirmed that the DNA all came from the mother.

The discovery has brought together science and religion, normally considered strange bedfellows. Christian scholars, even from the Catholic Church, are trumpeting the news as proof that the mythical founder of their faith and his virgin birth is not unrealistic. And Demian Chapman, a scientist in New York, confirms this.

Chapman notes that the female involved was a shark rather than a human, and that virgin birth in humans has never been documented, but he also admits that he can't rule it out. "It's kinda like life on Mars ... ya never know."

Meanwhile, new sects have spun off embracing sharks as the source of the next Messiah. Others suggest that Sarah Palin may be the next Mary, as she has shark-like features, and no one has ever seen Sarah Palin nude.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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