Written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 10 October 2008

image for Tony Blair Replaces Palin on Republican Ticket

In a surprising and last minute change to the Republican bid for the 2008 Presidency, former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair was announced as Sarah Palin's replacement for Vice President on the McCain ticket. The transition from Palin to Blair was made swiftly, after private consultation from acting president George W. Bush and Saturday Night Live producer, Lorne Michaels.

President Bush said in a brief statement, "This fella with the funny accent knows how to speak to an angry mob of politicians. The only thing more abrasive than U.S. congress is British Parliament. Besides, that hockey mom is as dumb as a stump. She makes me look like a genius".

Lorne Michaels had noted that since Tina Fey started doing Palin impressions on SNL, sometimes just reading the exact transcript from a Palin speech, Palin's approval ratings have tanked. "Fey's impression is dead on, in fact because we work so close to the United Nations building, Fey has more international experience than Palin." When reporters challenged Michaels' assertion about Fey being exposed to international culture and diplomacy, Michaels responded, "Have you ever taken a cab in New York?"

McCain strategists admitted later that they had considered Fey as Palin's replacement, mostly because they wouldn't have to re-shoot the video portion of any campaign ad. In the end, Bush's recommendation was logical, a fact that shocked most attached to McCain's inner circle.

Palin was reportedly distraught over the announcement, questioned the legality based on U.S. election law. "Doesn't Blair need to be a U.S. citizen? I mean, come on people. Who is doing their homework on this." Bush in a follow up statement replied, "Don't worry your pretty little head over that. We're the U.S. government and we've taken care of everything."

Tony Blair made his first appearance on stage next to McCain, wearing a Yankees jersey, a Mets hat, holding a baby in one arm and an apple pie in the other. Despite the American symbolism and applause from the crowd, McCain commented after the speech, "Nothing will save this campaign."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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